Sweatin' To The Oldies, Platinum Sweat: Sweatin' for Seniors - Sucks/Doesnt Suck

Shimmie Sham bitches!!! So since i'm on vacay i have had lots of time to do the kinds of things i really want to do...things going to class and having to write papers and shit always get in the way of. So when my bff called me up and told me he wanted to sweat to some Dick Simmons i could not resist. After reviewing an old tape he had where his mom had recorded Sweatin to the Oldies off HBO in like 1990, he realized that shit had been taped over and had been replaced by an episode of Murphy Brown. BFF got all resourceful and shit and called about 5 local libraries before tracking down this:

Platinum Sweat: Sweatin' for Seniors. He put that shit on hold and made me go pick it up since it happened to be at the library near my house. he's such a bitch. when i went to pick this shit up, the library dude looked uneasy and probably thought something was wrong with me. i don't blame the slut. anyway, i checked it out and took it to brian's where we got to it.....

The Breakdown:

Ok first, it's Richard Simmons! this bitch is fucking nuts, flamey, and totally knows how to work the camera. He embodies three of my favorite traits! The video is basically 30 minutes of Richard Simmons trying to seduce you while he shimmie shams and stardusts you into fitness.

The outfits are hot. The old people in this video wear the hottest workout shit on old people ever. They mostly wear like everyday clothes but some of them have sweatbands on their heads. Not to be outdone, Richard wears a black tank top with glittery suns. He also wears the tightest pair of short black spandex shorts ever and white socks and hightops adorn the feet.....

Ok so the old people in this video are almost hotter than Richard. They look like they've been kidnapped off the streets and most of them look like they were drugged and have no idea how they got there and what they are doing. Some of them look about 1 minute away from death's door. You almost fear for the old people but then a Frank Sinatra song comes on and Richard makes you do the Charleston and everyone gets excited and you forget all about how the old people might never see day light again.

This video does not make you sweat. it makes you pee, but not sweat.

----------------------The Verdict-----------------

Platinum Sweat: Sweatin for Seniors totally sucked. it was hot to see old people attempt to shimmie sham, stardust, and pass the hot coals, but mostly this video creeped me out because Richard kept looking at me like i was a 5$ tranny hooker on the corner of Santa Monica and Robertson. Other than a few hot inspirational phrases, Richard never gets emotional enough to make this shit hot and/or scary. he takes you to gay fitness limbo and leaves you wanting something better. Perhaps this is due to the fact that most of the people he was working out with were as old as fuck, but i totally expected more. This video might be hot if you're like 150 years old, but if you're not at most it will make you feel 150 when you piss your pants and fall asleep.