Tuesday, August 07, 2007

taco bell sucks doesnt suck

the other day i had this really insane craving for Taco Bell!! i think it's all Fergalicious' fault. you know how in that song Glamorous she's all...."I'm not clean, I'm not pristine, I'm no queen, I'm no machine, I still go to Taco Bell, Drive through, raw as hell...."?! you know? HAHAHAHHAHA Fergie is so stupid. that song is hot though. anyway, i think that's what did it. fucking fergalicious. i should send her my taco bell bill. anyway, we went and this is what happened.

i told Senor Chips i needed to have taco bell asap. we went to one and i decided i really wanted to eat inside. it's not too often i actually eat inside a fast food place and it's been an especially long time since ive sat inside a Taco Bell. it was rad.

service was super quick. everyone was a chola and about 16 years old. hot.

they have all kinds of new wrapped and grilled crap on the menu i didn't recognize. i ordered a burrito supereme (a classic) and some new crap. it's a "grilled taquito" or some shit. basically the tortilla surrounding the meat isn't fried. hot.

Senor Chips ordered a frisbee. he really did, then he had to explain what it was and we all figured out he was talking about the CrunchWrap Supreme. he's really into those.

our order came up and i soaked my burrito in Hot Sauce! i bit into that crap and oh my god....what the hell did they do to the burrito supreme?? i swear to god it totally tasted like chef boyardee sauce, EWWWWW. i stopped and decided to take a breath then try again. second attempt-same result. disappointment. i didnt even want to look at that bitch anymore. no picture. fuck that.

next, i tried the new item. it looked like this:

Yummy right?

not really. it was aight. it was better than that crap they call a burrito! i gobbled up the first one cos i was starving and i bit into the second one looked down at the meat and it was dewey. yup dewey. that did it for me. i couldnt go on.

S.Chips on the other hand manhandled his crunchwrap. he is in love with those because as he puts it "it has it all" somehow it's a taco and a burrito in one. he tried to explain it to me but i didnt get it and i think i was in a daze from the chef boyardee sauce and dewey taquito meat. about 3/4 of the way through his crunchwrap, the sad truth hit the Chips....taco bell was not the same. he couldnt finish his frisbee crap either.

we decided TACO BELL SUCKS.

...stupid fergie.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

100 calorie hostess mini cakes suck/don't suck

so i guess in an effort to make people less fat, Hostess put out these 100 calorie mini cake things that are supposed to not make you feel like such a fatass when you reach for them.
delicious looking, aren't they?

....so when i first put one in my mouf i seriously felt like i was chewing on rubber. chocolate covered rubber. i wasn't sure if that was hot or not, so i put a second one in my mouf. the second time i also dunked it in coffee before i ate it and it was much better. i don't think i put a third one in my mouf.

immediately i had decided that these 100 calorie cake turds sucked. besides being mini (which i totally totally love...i will basically buy any food item if it comes in mini because it's cute), they did not look or taste hot so i didn't think i was into them. however, one week later i was reaching for a little package of them and there weren't any left!! i don't know why i keep eating this crap! they still totally suck but they're really cute and they do make you feel less guilty about eating them than like a real hostess cupcake! the thing is, though,....we never have hostess cupcakes at my house so having them around probably made me gain about 5 pounds! bastard mini choclate turd cakes!!! you SUCK!

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Friday, March 16, 2007

drinking holidays suck/don't suck

"happy st. patrick's day, now i will roofie you" - all these dudes

ok...i'm just going to get to the point. drinking holidays totally suck.

bars rape your wallets, people rape your vagina, and the po is totally ready to bust your wasted ass the minute you get into your car!! i totally do not get why people try to go out to bars on drinking holidays!! bars totally take advantage of your dumb ass on drinking holidays. that's kind of hot on the bars' part actually, but i'm for le gente so i can't stand for that!

also, drinking holidays totally bring out the ghetto in everyone and make it totally not fun to be out. every bro, bitch, douchebag, and ho gets intolerably crazy on drinking holidays and there's no reason to get caught up in that mess when you can go to a bar on any other day, wear that green shamrock crap (st patricks day) or all those fug ass show-me-your-titty beads (mardi gras) or be mexican (cinco de mayo), and not be bothered. for real.

i'm not saying that the holiday itself isn't hot. but people should be less about going to a bar or some lame ass club on these days and more about staying at home and being a leprachaun in your own house and shit! i don't want to see your ass in head to toe green. that shit gives me nightmares!! you're totally endangering the lives of other people by being all into it and then getting super way wasted and then being all slutty or crazy while wasted and in that themed attire!! people should totally keep that shit in controlled environments not shared by the general public! like office parties!!! that's hot.

i know im being kind of bitter and shit about this, but when you love the booze as i do....this drinking holiday crap puts a serious dent in your booze schedule!! the ghetto totally hijack all the "hot spots" which means all the less ghetto but no less annoying people end up at your neighborhood dive bar and totally trash it up in a not hot way!!! like i already have to deal with trash when im at a bar, but themed trash is seriously hard to manage. and people think they are funny or witty or entitled when they are wearing themed crap! i totally don't understand that!!

....i totally take advantage of the drinking holiday to do just that...take a holiday from drinking. every drinking holiday i totally kick it at home,catch up on some Gilmore Girls (reruns, ok), sip on some herbal tea, and let my liver and kidneys remember what it's like to not be soaking up the bacardi!! and you should too! in your leprachaun outfit!!!

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Olsen Twins Suck/Don't Suck

um...really? like i have to answer that? they way DO NOT suck! seriously, they are the hottest fucking bitches ever. they are totally the marquis de sade...but of fashion. they way don't give a fuck and that is awesome. FO REAL! i heart you olsens. por vida!!!!

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Sunday, March 04, 2007

beard papa's sucks/doesn't suck

ok so, beard papa's is this hot cream puff (profiterole) shop from Japan that all of a sudden started popping up randomly all over the Los Angeles area.

around december of '05 they opened one in hollywood and then sometime in early '06 one openend up in this really shitty mall by my house which i thought was like way weird. i have been to the one in hollywood, but today i decided to go to the one at the ghetto hills mall (puente hills, actually) because we decided to have a back to the future balentines day since we missed the real balentines day two weeks ago. (you know, cos they filmed part of the movie in the puente hills parking lot....).

-----------pictures removed because photobucket is a douchebag------

anyway, our plan was to get sick off some Johnny Rockets hamburgers and then eat cream puffs, but the ghetto hills malls refused us service at Johnny Rockets (which totally saved our lives, im sure...i have no idea what we were thinking anyway), so we just bought some cream puffs to go and got the hell out of there. we ate our cream puffs on the way to some other hotness instead.

so, it turns out beard papa's cream puffs are seriously bomb and don't suck no matter where you get them. they are really light and tasty and the cream is way smooth and not like thick or too sweet. totally delicious! they come in three flavors: chocolate, original (vanilla), and green tea.

i think the chocolate is the most delicious. they also have eclair ones that are like smothered with chocolate on top and have either a strawberry or vanilla filling. i didn't have one of those because i am on a serious road to heifer town. ok, it's because i had 4 of the non-eclair ones first. heifer town is totally fun.

anyway, they also have these like little chocolate cakes and some cheescake stick thing that sounds kind of scary but still hot (it's not cheescake on a stick, but a cheesecake stick...yeah, i didn't get it), but i couldnt order any of that because we were on our way to In and Out (told you heifer town was awesome) and i wanted to make sure i could handle the goodness that awaited me there.

so yeah, you should totally check out the beard papa's website, especially the beard papa's story because it's a cartoon and it's totally adorable, oh and they are totally opening a bunch of these like everywhere, so you should totally go when they open one in the shittiest mall in your city.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Factory Girl Sucks/Doesn't Suck

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So the movie Factory Girl is about the hotness that was Edie Sedgwick. I dont really care about the details (like, what kind of research was done, who the director is, or who wrote this shit)....all i know is that whoreskank leather face Sienna Miller played one of my favorite hoes and i was totally expecting this to be a piece of crap.

It was. Sienna seriously looks 157 years old. This was my biggest problem with the film. That bitches face magnified on the big screen was not hot. It was also way distracting. Edie was seriously the hotness and although she did live the kind of life that would make anyone look 157, she didn't. she seriously had the complexion of a baby's ass!

see! bitch looks 12! sienna is seriously a nasty fug faced bitch, and i couldn't get passed that! it was like way hard, for reals. aside from that though, the movie totally portrayed Edie as a victim and Andy as a complete and total asshole. While Andy did totally use people, Edie wasn't exactly as helpless and innocent as this film made her seem. By portraying her so compassionately i think this film took away from Edie's spirit and ultimate hotness.

some of the dialogue was hot and the dude that plays bob dylan (pictured below) is totally the hotness so that was good.....also sienna wore some awesome outfits, as well as some really ugly ones, which of course i loved!

i think sienna did a good job trying to portray edie, but she did not do a good job not being ugly, which i guess is hard for her to do. Edie was like fresh faced and youthful, while sienna looks tired, wrinkly, and all fucked up! sienna totally aged 130 years between this movie and alfie. i can't believe this bitch is younger than me. if she was 45, then i'd say she looks decent for her age. no 65!!! ...well, especially when her face is like 15 feet tall! you can't really tell as much when it's only a few inches long.....but TRUST ME! that bitch is as beat as my favorite pair of chanclas!

so basically, Factory Girl sucked. I would wait until that shit is a VH1 movie that rocks. or on TBS or some shit. this movie would never be on lifetime because it's not hot enough.

(read the book, Edie: An American Biography, it's way hotter than this movie. or get the script and have your grandma play edie and grandpa play andy and it would probably be as good or better than this film)

Friday, March 02, 2007

sucks, doesn't suck sucks/doesn't suck....

or something!

i totally suck you guys!!!! im really sorry about having this really brilliant idea and then totally abandoning it for something less brilliant and less hot, but ultimately easier and not respectable!!! god, i'm so typical.

but i promise promise promise to try to find things that suck or don't suck more often. i totally find things that suck and don't suck daily, but my laziness is totally my driving force, which means um....i have no drive. however, i decided just right now im going to take this sucking and not sucking a lot less seriously which means i won't feel like i have to actually deliver quality...just quanitity. because really, i know you bitches are stimulation sluts and dont really expect much from me. especially if you know me....(if you know me, youve probably experienced first hand my incredible ability to disappoint! im totally a dumb whore!! ha!)....

anyway, from now on i am going to try to run this blog without accordance to standard.....which means more posts of no significance or substance!!! just how you like it! i really tried to be organized and like not useless about this, but um....those things don't exist in my life. what was i thinking???? i thrive off of unorganized, meaningless, insignificant nothing!!! it's like....everything i stand for!

anyway, love you sluts for like totally giving up on me thereby eliminating my having to try! and im totally talking to the 4 people that read this. even pringle didn't read this and he's a contributor. ok bye bitches.

(um, charlie doesn't suck, but i posted his picture to counterbalance my sucking. seriously, charles is hot shit!)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

the hello kitty waffle iron sucks/doesnt suck

a waffle story:
(pictures not available because...photobucket is still a douchebag)

um...so the hello kitty waffle iron totally DOES NOT SUCK. look how amazing that shit looks. i really don't feel the need to fill this post up with any pros or cons because the pictures say it all. hello kittys big fat face is bite sized..you don't even need to use your hands!! and waffles are good no matter what. like if you made a shitty waffe (pictured) and put anything on top of it...ie: honey, maple syrup, powdered sugar, orange marmalade, strawberry jelly, whipped cream, any kind of fruit crap......i happened to dip one of mine in curry....shut up, i was desperate and it was like right next to the waffle plate, i hate walking.....it'll be delicious.

bottom line, the hello kitty face machine is rad, useable, and totally fucking cute. you know your ass loves that bitch. she can do no wrong. she's like america's not really american sweetheart or something. you know she's hotter than that barbie skank!

so if you're not like a waffle connoisseur this will totally be good enough to make something totally gay, but hot for your next party while still tasting decent. just make sure you get a decent waffle recipe and like have all the ingredients. i didn't and made shit up and mine tasted like sometimes soggy, sometimes crispy egg corn waffle. don't ask.

Monday, July 31, 2006

July sucks and doesn't suck

hi peeps. sorry it's ages between posts on this site but singling things out that suck and don't suck is alot harder than i thought it would be. or maybe maintaining two blogs is more than my lazy ass can handle. either way, i apologize for the lack of sucking and not sucking. i will try my best to get more consistent. to make up for July going without a single post, today i will compile a list of things that sucked and didn't suck in July.....god, i'm so lazy.

the lists:

Things that did not suck in July:


Come Backs. july was hardcore about musical comebacks. Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Too $hort, Nelly Furtado, Kelis, Beyonce, The Game, those bitches on Making the Band 3 (hahahahaha i had to mention those sluts cos they are sad and pathetic and i love them).....all these bitches came back in July, some better than others....but for the most part, their comebacks were hot and so coming back did not suck.


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Hot Dogs. July is the month when the hot dog reigns supreme so eating a hot dog didn't seem so bad in July. Though i never ever need an excuse to put one in my mouth, most people seem to have a hard time eating one. those types of people are lame. but whatever, at least in July they can stuff their faces with tube steaks and feel no shame so therefore hot dogs did not suck in July. (ps- that is indeed me enjoying an awesome 4$ soggy poppyseed bunned comic con hotdog sold to me out of some guys cooler. he was an official vendor though...i think).

The Blood Brothers. ok so i know the blood brothers have been around for a long time. and they really have nothing to do with July. But my own love for the Blood Brothers peaked in July so i have to put those sluts on the list. i really think they are seriously like one of the sexiest live bands out there. you might think they are sexy too if you're into dudes that scream the hotness at you. mmm...they are so hot and intense...i love them, but most of you will probably think they are annoying.

here's their Jimmy Kimmel performance...
The Blood Brothers - Trash Flavored Trash

i love that dudes whiney voice!!!


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Comic Con. Comic con was so much hotter than i could have ever imagined. seriously, what is there not to love about people dressing and acting retarded over gay crap. it's like a dream come true for a shit talking slut like me. plus as my brother pointed out, it's the only time that nerd bitches get to bring out the sexy by dressing like nerd tramps. and that's hot. Comic Con does not suck.


Deadwood. this show is hot shit. i know it's 3 seasons in, and that this is probably the last season, but thanks to schips' co-worker's season 1 and 2 dvd sets, and thanks to schips's art show for killing our weekends, we were both able to get gay over this shit. deadwood is serioulsy awesome and i have a huge crush on the swearengine bitch. or whatever his name is. i like this show because everyone is a ruthless cocksucker. and because they say the word cocksucker as often as i say slut. and because all the bitches are whores. and because all the whores use the word cunt. hearts it. it's totally hot. so Deadwood is hot in july because that's when i found out about how hot it is which means that Deadwood does not suck.


getting drunk. July is a hot month to get drunk. i'm not sure why, but it is. i think it's a good month cos it's in the middle of summer. ew, actually that reason is lame. you should never have to have a reaoson to get drunk!! but july is as good a time as any to do it so getting drunk in july does not suck.

now onto things that sucked in july:

#1) not being drunk when surrounded by a giant group of drunk, obnoxious, racetrack trash....AND #2) amtrak both suck. #1 and #2 must be explained together because Chips and i realized how much both those things suck at the same time. basically amtrak is crap. it was 2 hours delayed going into San Diego for Comic Con and about 3 hours delayed coming back. i basically wasted 5 perfectly hot hours for no good reason. all i did was eat sunchips that whole time. everyone told our asses to take amtrak but that shit was so lame. it seriously took my brother 1 hour and 20 minutes to get to SD and less time than that to get back. it took us at least 3 on amtrak! thanks for nothing bitches.

what links #1 and #2 is that because the train from SD to Fullerton was so late it meant that hundreds of people were trying to ride one train...because that 3 hour delay backed the line up 3 trains. SO, what ended up happening was that at each stop after the initial SD pickup a million people were trying to get on a totally full train. THAT MEANT, all these drunk ass racetrack trashy people got on the train and a group of 30 decided to stand in the aisle of our car. i have nothing against the racetrack nor do i against trash, but these people were seriously the most annoying drunk people standing in the aisle of a already full train car ever. they were basically oozing their sweat and cans of miller lite all over us. (they brought their own 24 pack to enjoy on the train). AMTRAK AND DRUNK TRASH STANDING IN THE AISLE OF THE TRAIN WHILE BEING DRUNK AND GROSS ON OUR LAPS SUCKED. Amtrak sucks alot though.


the sun/hot weather (and i mean that literally...like in terms of degrees and shit). July was no good for hot weather because that shit was insane. The sun totally sucked in July because instead of giving people tans and making it awesome for hanging out at the beach or by the pool it totally made people die. that's a total bummer for sure. totally lame, sun. also, the heat made it all shitty for staying indoors because people would have to keep their AC on for days at like freezing temperatures just to not die and that made some people lose power for days. ew. that meant all their perishable food items went to waste. dang. many hot dogs and hamburgers probably had to be thrown out. that makes me so sad. i was totally thinking about this while i was kicking it at home with a sweater cos our shit was seriously set to like below 0. it was chilly up in my crib. so the sun/the heat sucked because it was too hot to lay out and it was so cold inside my house. lame. (ps that is a pic of what to do in case of heat stroke. do you think by drink fluids they mean vodka tonics? i hope so)


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Project Runway. that shit is still boring. non of these bitches bring enough of the sass to make me excited about future episodes. the only bitch i liked was the stuffy queer from Taiwan with a hot british accent. he was so tragic and divine. everyone else is so lame and boring and predictable. totally not feeling it. i mean half the bitches on this show seem kind of 'nice'. EW. Project Runway pretty much sucks so far.


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Babies. every bitch i know who is preggers (and i know a bunch of sluts that are all fat with human. i know that's gross.) is having a really bad pregnancy! plus, the babies that have already been born that were supposed to fight over my soul so they could take me to salvation aren't doing shit. what the hell was all that waiting for? britney's baby better bring it or i will be seriously disappointed in this whole procreation business. babies seem totally lame. they don't even do shit. if i had a baby i would want it to be able to make me breakfast in bed, tell me jokes, and answer my cell phone. (the only baby that is hot is Kimya Dawson's of the Moldy Peaches. Bitch just popped one out on Saturday and named her little slut Panda Delilah. that is definitely hot!) yeah, babies totally suck.

and finally

#6) lance bass coming out. his coming out was way lame. who seriously cares. like we all didn't already know that bitch liked the sausage. boring. lance bass' coming out totally sucked. he should have thrown a party with feathers and pink confetti and a cake in the shape of a giant penis and a bar serving an array of flavored martinis and some oily man servants in leather and lisps. that would have been a proper coming out. omg, there should totally be debutante balls for gay men who come out. ok anyway he should have done it like that. he sucks.


i hope you all enjoyed this list. now i'm going to go sit on the couch with a vodka tonic and mini oatmeal cookies and get back to my lazy.

Friday, June 23, 2006

(The New and Improved) You Tube Sucks/Doesnt Suck

ok so in my other blog i posted about how You Tube had been unavailable because that shit was undergoing construction or whatever they call it in internet talk. anyway, so i checked back and that shit was up and running just like they promised, but they totally lied and fucking changed that shit!!!!

The Breakdown:

Before: you could post shit on your blog with, like, one of those link thingies they provide. np*.

Before: you could post shit on your myspace blog with like one of those link thingies they provide. np.

Before: you could post porn and embarassing and funny and lame shit on your friends myspace comments or on your own page and be annoying. np.

Ok so you can still do that last part without any problems, but in order to post videos on your blogs you have to sign up for that shit! SIGN UP! they totally hold your email address, birth date, blogger username and blogger password hostage!!!! and you can't currently post videos in your myspace blog.

It's still free, though

---------------The Verdict-------------
dude, that shit is wack. (The New and Improved) You Tube fucking sucks! i hate giving out information. granted, it's lame information but still. im seriously sick of that shit. can't we get a fucking break already. stupid internets. yes, internets.

anyway, i'm still posting the "Stars are Blind" video. even new and improved can't keep me from my soul mate. see other blog.

*np=no problem

omg, im scared of You Tube. so when you sign up your blog so that you can post videos on that shit, it takes your Blog Username and Password hostage, right? I already told you that. So i guess it also posts that shit for you! See, that shit is lame!!! Andy Warhol was so right, "New and Improved" can totally suck it.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Sweatin' To The Oldies, Platinum Sweat: Sweatin' for Seniors - Sucks/Doesnt Suck

Shimmie Sham bitches!!! So since i'm on vacay i have had lots of time to do the kinds of things i really want to do...things going to class and having to write papers and shit always get in the way of. So when my bff called me up and told me he wanted to sweat to some Dick Simmons i could not resist. After reviewing an old tape he had where his mom had recorded Sweatin to the Oldies off HBO in like 1990, he realized that shit had been taped over and had been replaced by an episode of Murphy Brown. BFF got all resourceful and shit and called about 5 local libraries before tracking down this:

Platinum Sweat: Sweatin' for Seniors. He put that shit on hold and made me go pick it up since it happened to be at the library near my house. he's such a bitch. when i went to pick this shit up, the library dude looked uneasy and probably thought something was wrong with me. i don't blame the slut. anyway, i checked it out and took it to brian's where we got to it.....

The Breakdown:

Ok first, it's Richard Simmons! this bitch is fucking nuts, flamey, and totally knows how to work the camera. He embodies three of my favorite traits! The video is basically 30 minutes of Richard Simmons trying to seduce you while he shimmie shams and stardusts you into fitness.

The outfits are hot. The old people in this video wear the hottest workout shit on old people ever. They mostly wear like everyday clothes but some of them have sweatbands on their heads. Not to be outdone, Richard wears a black tank top with glittery suns. He also wears the tightest pair of short black spandex shorts ever and white socks and hightops adorn the feet.....

Ok so the old people in this video are almost hotter than Richard. They look like they've been kidnapped off the streets and most of them look like they were drugged and have no idea how they got there and what they are doing. Some of them look about 1 minute away from death's door. You almost fear for the old people but then a Frank Sinatra song comes on and Richard makes you do the Charleston and everyone gets excited and you forget all about how the old people might never see day light again.

This video does not make you sweat. it makes you pee, but not sweat.

----------------------The Verdict-----------------

Platinum Sweat: Sweatin for Seniors totally sucked. it was hot to see old people attempt to shimmie sham, stardust, and pass the hot coals, but mostly this video creeped me out because Richard kept looking at me like i was a 5$ tranny hooker on the corner of Santa Monica and Robertson. Other than a few hot inspirational phrases, Richard never gets emotional enough to make this shit hot and/or scary. he takes you to gay fitness limbo and leaves you wanting something better. Perhaps this is due to the fact that most of the people he was working out with were as old as fuck, but i totally expected more. This video might be hot if you're like 150 years old, but if you're not at most it will make you feel 150 when you piss your pants and fall asleep.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Jim Beam and Gingerale, IN A CAN...sucks/doesn't suck

ok so this one time, i was walking in the parking lot of a Target in fullerton and i saw this shiny thing on the floor that was a can and i knew that it wasn't a normal can.....like it didn't look like a sprite nor did it look like a heineken! but that shit was totally green and white so i went over to investigate and i saw that it was a can of fucking Jim Beam and Gingerale....my signature Wintertime drink! Though i've probably had about 300580950 Whisky and Gingerales this past winter, i had never ever seen that shit in the form of a convenient ready to go CAN!!!!! the idea of drinking that shit out of a can sounded totally scandelous and hot to me so Senor Chips and I decided to investigate. After searching for that shit in liquor store after liquor store (it really isn't all that common, at least not where i shop for my booze....which probably explains a lot....you know, because Jim Beam out of a can screams GHETTO), S. Chips and I finally realized that there was indeed a liquor store in the parking lot of the very Target in which i had my first encounter with the hot can in question.....so......


Buying that shit is seriously exciting.

Jim Beam and soda comes in two varieties: Beam and Gingerale and Beam and Cola

Drinking booze that isn't beer out of a can is way more trash than drinking beer. even more trash than drinking Cobra. wait, no.....drinking a 40 of Cobra is more trash! but still......

That shit costs $8 for a fucking 6 pack!

When you buy that shit, the dude at the liquor store looks at you shady. he knows something isn't right.

------------------THE VERDICT----------------------

Jim Beam and Gingerale is not only ghetto as shit, but it's seriously totally fucking delicious!!!!!! and it fucks you up.

yeah, that shit definitely does NOT suck!!!!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Earth, Wind, and Fire - sucks/doesn't suck

Earth Wind and Fire is a musical group from like a while ago when disco and funk was all hot and stuff. You can still hear some Earth Wind and Fire today at some fine gay establishments and on hot radio stations like Los Angeles' KBIG 104. Some people think disco died like in the 80's or something, but we all know disco will live on in all of our hearts forever. Don't deny it. It totally makes you want to oogie boogie woogie, or whatever. but just because disco is hot doesn't mean Earth, Wind and Fire is hot (er, and more specifically the song "Let's Groove")..... or does it???????????????

The Breakdown:

ok, for reals. this video is all the proof i need. it might also help to know that in Senor Chips' drivers ed class they showed a video which contained a hot-- 'car accidents cut up with parts of this music video'--montage to teach the importance of defensive driving.

-------------------THE VERDICT----------------------------

Earth, Wind, and Fire not only do NOT suck. but these are some of the hottest music video making bitches on earth!!!!! someone needs to call mimi and tell her to take notes! you better watch that shit!!!!!! it's hotter than you can ever imagine.

my favorite parts are: a) outer space and b) the floating heads part. what's yours?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

tequila - sucks/doesnt suck

hi sluts, so there are people who seriously live for tequila- especially in the form of a cold delish margarita. But tequila is seriously the devil's poison and turns you into the kind of drunk where you make Tara Reid look like Mother Teresa. The breakdown:

Tequila tastes like pee.

Tequila makes you want to die.

Tequila is made by hot mexicans, so that's hot. (gotta keep it real, woo woo)

Tequila has the word "Te" which in spanish is "you" when someone is referring to you in some kind of action context, and the word (at least phonetically) "killah". aka it wants to kill you. see, i told you.

Tequila inside of a strawberry margarita is really delicious.

Tequila almost sounds like Taquitos, and i LOVE taquitos with some guacamole and salsa...mmm.

Tequila can be hot, when you get it for free.

-------------------------THE VERDICT---------------------
TEQUILA FUCKING SUCKS. i hate that shit. it destroyed me on my half birfday and it seriously sent me into a coma last nite that i just recovered from at about 7pm this evening (and i only had a sip of my friend's cadillac margarita)! and i know i'm not the only person who has suffered at the hands of what senor chips calls "dirty mexican poison water", that shit has destroyed the nights and mornings of many a slut and ho, i'm sure! that shit is hardcore and it is straight up out to kill you. i am definitely no match for its powers so therefore tequila is poo.

ps- though tequila sucks, tila tequila is hot shit. she was on access hollywood tonight and i see big things for this ho. and by big things i mean i hope her and her titties are on Flavor of Love season 2! that would be hot.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

corndogs - suck/don't suck (the trial post)

(hi sluts. so i decided that for the first review i would review something super simple. this is just a trial run, so dont get all mad at me if this is crap. just so you know, it probably will be)......

i think the corndog is hot, but some people think it's disgusting. i think corndogs are hot because hot dogs in normal buns are ok, but hot dogs dipped in corn batter then deep fried are like heaven on earth, especially with a little mustard. who wouldn't love a hot delicious tube steak wrapped in cornbread?? i don't get these anti-hot dog people, but i guess to each his own. so here's the breakdown.

corndogs taste like heaven.

corndogs make you fat. fast.

corndogs are the only reason worth visiting the California Adventure theme park in Anaheim.

corndogs have both the words corn and dog in it's name which when you think about it is really disturbing.

corndogs are made of gross stuff that i don't want to research because it will probably gross me out forever and make me want to die.

corndogs bring people together.

corndogs can make you sick. violently sick.

however, corndogs have never hurt anyone intentionally. just on accident......

---------------------the verdict----------------------------

corndogs definitely don't suck. they dance! dance my little corndog, dance!!!

yeah this trial run was lame. it will get better. i swear.

senor chips had absolutely nothing to do with this post. that bitch has more class than to be associated with the corndog. i have no problems loving it, though.