100 calorie hostess mini cakes suck/don't suck

so i guess in an effort to make people less fat, Hostess put out these 100 calorie mini cake things that are supposed to not make you feel like such a fatass when you reach for them.
delicious looking, aren't they?

....so when i first put one in my mouf i seriously felt like i was chewing on rubber. chocolate covered rubber. i wasn't sure if that was hot or not, so i put a second one in my mouf. the second time i also dunked it in coffee before i ate it and it was much better. i don't think i put a third one in my mouf.

immediately i had decided that these 100 calorie cake turds sucked. besides being mini (which i totally totally love...i will basically buy any food item if it comes in mini because it's cute), they did not look or taste hot so i didn't think i was into them. however, one week later i was reaching for a little package of them and there weren't any left!! i don't know why i keep eating this crap! they still totally suck but they're really cute and they do make you feel less guilty about eating them than like a real hostess cupcake! the thing is, though,....we never have hostess cupcakes at my house so having them around probably made me gain about 5 pounds! bastard mini choclate turd cakes!!! you SUCK!

drinking holidays suck/don't suck

"happy st. patrick's day, now i will roofie you" - all these dudes

ok...i'm just going to get to the point. drinking holidays totally suck.

bars rape your wallets, people rape your vagina, and the po is totally ready to bust your wasted ass the minute you get into your car!! i totally do not get why people try to go out to bars on drinking holidays!! bars totally take advantage of your dumb ass on drinking holidays. that's kind of hot on the bars' part actually, but i'm for le gente so i can't stand for that!

also, drinking holidays totally bring out the ghetto in everyone and make it totally not fun to be out. every bro, bitch, douchebag, and ho gets intolerably crazy on drinking holidays and there's no reason to get caught up in that mess when you can go to a bar on any other day, wear that green shamrock crap (st patricks day) or all those fug ass show-me-your-titty beads (mardi gras) or be mexican (cinco de mayo), and not be bothered. for real.

i'm not saying that the holiday itself isn't hot. but people should be less about going to a bar or some lame ass club on these days and more about staying at home and being a leprachaun in your own house and shit! i don't want to see your ass in head to toe green. that shit gives me nightmares!! you're totally endangering the lives of other people by being all into it and then getting super way wasted and then being all slutty or crazy while wasted and in that themed attire!! people should totally keep that shit in controlled environments not shared by the general public! like office parties!!! that's hot.

i know im being kind of bitter and shit about this, but when you love the booze as i do....this drinking holiday crap puts a serious dent in your booze schedule!! the ghetto totally hijack all the "hot spots" which means all the less ghetto but no less annoying people end up at your neighborhood dive bar and totally trash it up in a not hot way!!! like i already have to deal with trash when im at a bar, but themed trash is seriously hard to manage. and people think they are funny or witty or entitled when they are wearing themed crap! i totally don't understand that!!

....i totally take advantage of the drinking holiday to do just that...take a holiday from drinking. every drinking holiday i totally kick it at home,catch up on some Gilmore Girls (reruns, ok), sip on some herbal tea, and let my liver and kidneys remember what it's like to not be soaking up the bacardi!! and you should too! in your leprachaun outfit!!!